Miscarriage Ministry

“Do not fear what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you then and every day. He will either shield you from suffering or will give you unfailing strength to bear it.”

St. Francis de Sales

We know the agony of losing a child and are bringing it to the light and love of Jesus. If you are here, you have likely suffered the unfortunate pain of a miscarriage, we are truly sorry for your loss. Know we are here for you and your family and will help guide you through this most difficult time.

Here are a few ways you can walk through grief with the sacraments and with your child:

Burying the Dead: A Corporal Work of Mercy. The Church understands that burying the dead is one of the corporal works of mercy (CCC 2447). The Church also affirms, “As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites” (CCC 1261). Miscarried and stillborn babies are children who have died before Baptism. This may also be the case with children who die soon after birth. 

Have a funeral: We believe strongly in the healing power of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. We always encourage families to seek out healing in our Lord by requesting a Funeral Mass. Always seek guidance from your parish priest. Not only is this a corporal work of mercy, but the opportunity to seek healing.

Name your child: Naming a child allows us to acknowledge the profound effect they had on their lives, even in the womb.  We acknowledge the “fearfully and wonderfully made” unique child of God that we have lost. Pray for your child by name, and know that he or she has taken his or her place with God.

Schedule a Mass: Consider having a Mass said in memory of your child regularly, even after the time of initial grief has past. Or, consider holding a community-wide memorial Mass for miscarried and stillborn infants, where other families who have experienced this loss can gather to pray together.

Request a blessing: The “Blessing of Parents After a Miscarriage,” as written in the Church’s Book of Blessings, can be conferred by a priest or deacon. It is given by the Church specifically to “assist parents in their grief and console them with the blessing of God.”

Burial Options 

Catholic Cemeteries in the Capital Region: Remains may be buried at a gravesite of a family member, even above where a casket is already buried (perhaps of another relative).  A second stone marker may also be placed next to a gravestone already present at a grave.  

The following cemeteries all have locations specifically set aside for children:

Calvary Cemetery, Glenmont

Most Holy Redeemer Cemetery, Rt. 7, Niskayuna

St. Mary Cemetery, Troy

Legal Requirements

In New York State, there are certain legal requirements for the burial of unborn and stillborn children. Catholic cemeteries are familiar with these requirements and can help you navigate the process. Although this is a very difficult time for families, arranging for the funeral and burial of a child is often an important part of the grieving and healing process.

Fetal death certificate: A fetal death certificate is required for the burial of an unborn child at any stage of gestation. A copy of this certificate can be obtained by the mother or her lawful representative (e.g. a funeral director).

Loss of a child at 20 weeks or more of gestation: For children lost at 20 weeks of gestation or more, New York State requires that a funeral home be contacted and a burial or cremation planned for the baby. The best practice is to have a funeral director obtain the fetal death certificate and required disposition permit, and then make arrangements with the hospital for the transfer of a child’s remains.

Loss of a child before 20 weeks of gestation: To arrange a funeral, the best practice is to have a funeral director obtain the fetal death certificate and make the arrangements for the transfer of the child’s remains.

This information may be a lot to process, especially when you are battling grief, anger, and pain. Know your feelings are valid and normal. If you have any questions or concerns regarding the Funeral Mass and/or burial of your child, please contact Msgr. Anthony Barratt through the parish office (518) 828-1334.